“You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout ..." no matter how often the New Orleans Saints and New Orleans Pelicans and Tulane Green Wave make you want to.
Why?
Because Santa Claus is coming to town, which means it’s time for my annual Christmas wish list on behalf of New Orleans sports fans.
Dear Santa,
I'll be honest with you.
This letter is probably a little longer than it needs to be. For many Saints fans — at least the ones on social media — all they want for Christmas is a new coach and quarterback.
Before I dive into this year's list, let's take a look back at the wish list from last year just to see if this whole letter writing thing actually works.
This time a year ago, I asked that you deliver a coaching job to Sean Payton so the Saints could get a draft pick or two. You came through and Payton landed a job in Denver.
I asked you to give Tulane a victory in the Cotton Bowl over college football aristocrat Southern Cal. Oh, man, did you come through on that one, giving Tulane the biggest and most thrilling moment in the school’s football history. Green Wave 46, Trojans 45.
And since it was clear this time a year ago that Dennis Allen wasn’t confident in Jameis Winston to lead the team at quarterback, I asked you to send the Saints a new one. You sent Derek Carr, a gift that so far hasn’t quite lived up to the expectations that come with such a lofty contract. Many of the Saints fans I’m writing on behalf of have asked about your return policy, but we all know Santa doesn’t have one.
So the first thing on this year’s wish list is that Carr’s 2024 season is better than the up-and-down one he’s had in 2023. The blame isn’t all on him, though. The offensive line has struggled. The run game has been subpar. The pass rush has been largely ineffective. So has stopping the run. Inevitably, all of that falls on coaching.
So if it’s cold when you’re delivering gifts in Metairie, feel free to take a seat in Dennis Allen or Pete Carmichael’s office. Their seats are probably a little hotter than they were last year.
But 2023 isn’t over, so let’s not close the book on it just yet. Although many fans already have.
There are still two games left, and maybe more. The Saints’ chances of earning a wild-card spot all but vanished Thursday night in Inglewood, California, when they lost to the Los Angeles Rams and fell to 7-8.
As crazy as it sounds, the Saints can still win the NFC South. They need some help from you, though. The Saints are a game behind the Tampa Bay Buccaneers for the division lead and the Bucs own the tiebreaker. So not only do the Saints have to beat Tampa Bay on New Year’s Eve but they also need someone else to beat them. The best chance of that happening is Sunday when Tampa Bay plays Jacksonville. If it doesn’t happen Sunday, it would take something bigger than any Christmas miracle ever performed. The Saints would need the Carolina Panthers to beat the Bucs in the regular-season finale.
Here are a few more for the Saints' wish list.
• A quality win for Allen. He doesn’t really have any. The Saints’ only win over a team that currently has a winning record is the victory against the Indianapolis Colts (8-6). The Colts were 3-5 after that game.
• Some sticky notes around Carmichael’s office to remind him that Jimmy Graham and Taysom Hill are on the team. They haven’t been used nearly enough.
While you’re out there on Airline Drive, don’t forget to stop by the Pelicans’ facility.
The song says you know when people have been bad or good. Well, the Pelicans have been a little bit of both. They were good enough to reach the semifinals of the NBA’s inaugural In-Season Tournament. And bad enough to stink it up once they got to Vegas to play the Lakers.
So for the Pelicans, can you drop off the following:
• A large box of consistency. That’s not only consistency from game to game but also from quarter to quarter so they can keep leads. They've blown eight double-digit leads. They'd be leading the West if they had won all those games. Instead, they're in sixth.
• A pair of shades to help the Pelicans handle the bright TV lights. The Pelicans have played on national TV four times this season. They won the first one against the Knicks, then got embarrassed in their next three. They lost to Golden State by 28 points, got demolished by the Lakers in the In-Season Tournament semifinals and then blew a 24-point lead to the Memphis Grizzlies in Ja Morant’s season debut. They have nine more nationally televised games on the schedule. Nothing changes the national narrative more than winning when everybody is watching.
• Good health for Zion Williamson, Brandon Ingram and CJ McCollum, the Pelican’s Big Three that is finally playing games together more consistently.
• How about throwing in a double dose of revenge this week as well. On Tuesday, the Pelicans host the aforementioned Memphis Grizzlies. On New Year’s Eve, the Pelicans host the Los Angeles Lakers.
Oh, remember those sticky notes you left to remind Carmichael about Jimmy Graham and Taysom Hill? Well, leave one in Willie Green’s office for Jordan Hawkins, who at one point was on pace to break the NBA’s rookie record for 3-pointers made. Now the only thing showing up on the stat sheet beside Hawkins’ name is “DNP – coach’s decision.”
Your last stop is Uptown.
• For Green Wave men’s basketball coach Ron Hunter, more fans. “One of the best teams in the country is playing here at Tulane in the city of New Orleans, and I want people to understand that,” Hunter said last week.
• For Hunter and women’s basketball coach Lisa Stockton, trips to the NCAA tournament would be nice. The Tulane women’s basketball team last made it to the Big Dance in 2015, while the men’s team hasn’t been since 1995.
• For new Tulane football coach Jon Sumrall, a quarterback to fill the giant shoes of Michael Pratt, who leaves as the school’s all-time passing leader. Also for the Green Wave, a victory over Virginia Tech in Wednesday's Military Bowl. It would give Tulane its second straight bowl victory and its second consecutive 12-win season. A One, A Two, A Helluva Hullabaloo that would be.
That’s all for this year, Santa.
Safe travels as you make those sports deliveries in New Orleans.
Oh, and watch for the potholes.
Sincerely,
Sports fans in New Orleans
